If your spouse, sibling, child, or parent is in recovery, you’re probably big support for them. So you will likely witness the ups and downs of their recovery. Relapse can be a difficult experience for both the recovering addict as well as the loved one supporting them. However, as a loved one concerned for your family member or friend, there are ways that you can be supportive after an experience like a relapse. Westwind Recovery® can help guide you through how to help a loved one during their recovery. One of the ways we can do so is through family therapy where family members can educate themselves about what sobriety entails, how they can be supportive, and how to avoid negative habits like co-dependency or enabling.
Take Responsibility for Your Own Feelings
The first step to take is to check in with yourself about your own feelings. If you intend to continue to support your loved one, then you’re not going to be supportive if you’re angry, disappointed, or frustrated. Sure, those feelings are normal and it’s perfectly fine to feel that way. However, process them on your own without blaming your loved one for the way you feel. Take responsibility for your own feelings so that you can be emotionally balanced and healthy to help your loved one through this challenge.
Second, recognize that relapse is a regular part of recovery. A very high percentage of recovering addicts will relapse. So, don’t think that this is the end of the world. In fact, it could be a significant learning experience for your loved one. It could be a turning point, depending upon how your friend or family member is looking at this experience. And that’s where you can be supportive. You can let your loved one know that relapse is normal and that it can be used as a learning experience for strengthening one’s sobriety. Yet, before you can communicate this to your loved one, it’s important to believe in this yourself.
Treatment Options in Recovery
Once you feel like you can push your own feelings aside (temporarily) and if you realize that relapse is a normal part of recovery, then you can approach your loved one with concern and care. Just as with other chronic illnesses, relapse simply means that your loved one needs to return to the recovery support he or she needs. Perhaps this means returning to a sober living home like those offered by Westwind Recovery®:
Also, support can take the form of attending more 12-step meetings and/or working more closely with a sponsor. You can encourage your loved one to simply get back on track versus beating themselves up or feeling doomed for failure. Point out that relapse is simply an experience for learning.
Along those lines, you might also support your loved one by together figuring out what triggered the relapse in the first place. You might explore recent events, lack of support, or the presence of any strong cravings. You might explore the presence of old friends, whether your loved one returned to an old environment, or if he or she experienced any overwhelming emotions. By exploring triggers for the relapse, you also uncover that relapse is not a message of failure. Instead, relapse is an experience that can highlight areas in a recovering addict’s life that needs more support.
Westwind Recovery®
Let your loved one know that you’re there for them. Relapse is not an incident of failure; it’s an opportunity to get back on the road to recovery with perhaps a stronger commitment to sobriety. Here at Westwind Recovery®, we can guide you through the process of how to help a loved one make their recovery and sobriety lasting. Reach out to us today at 855.340.8832 to learn more and discover more resources.
Dr. Deena is the Chief Clinical Officer of Westwind Recovery®, an award-winning outpatient treatment center in Los Angeles where she oversees the clinical and administrative program and treatment methods. Dr. Deena is a doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker since 1993. LCSW #20628. Originally from the East Coast, Dr. Deena has worked running treatment centers, worked as a therapist in psychiatric hospitals as well as school settings and currently has a thriving private practice in the LA area. Dr. Deena has appeared regularly on the Dr. Phil Show as an expert since 2003. She has also been featured on many other TV shows, podcasts and has contributed to written publications as well as podcasts.
