Do you ever feel like you want to get somewhere, but you can’t to find the gas pedal? Maybe you are stuck on the side of the road at Point A and you are just dying to get to Point B, but the thought of having to propel yourself there seems so overwhelming. Upon entering recovery, you are hoping to just stay sober. You may find yourself talking about goals or dreams you would like to accomplish one day – just not today. But, why not today?
Forward movement is positive. Yes, it is change and, of course, it can be scary. But it is necessary for your well-being and your growth. So, quit sitting there talking about what you would like to eventually do and do it now! Accomplishing your goals starts with the smallest of steps.
Ignite your passions and take off
Passions can fuel our progress. What are your passions? What is something you immensely want to do, create, or be a part of? When we have something that we strongly desire, it can be the spark we need to start moving.
First, you will need to set a goal. What is your Point B? Write it out – put it where you can see it. Once you know where you are headed, you need to take the necessary steps to get there. Here are some of the best tips to achieve your goals:
State a clear goal and/or outcome. Be specific and detailed. Know exactly what you want. Determine what it is you need to achieve this goal. For instance, will you need education, training, money, a specific experience?
Once you know what you need to achieve your goal, you can determine how long of a time frame you will require. Do not try to rush things, as much as it may tempt you.
Be realistic. As much as we want to think we can accomplish anything we can, we need to be realistic as to our current abilities and what we need to get where we want to go. You really can accomplish anything you put your mind to, but, for example, if you want to be a doctor and you haven’t started your first college class – setting your goal for 3 years from now is not feasible in the slightest.
Set mini goals to check your progress. Large goals can take a while to achieve. Setting smaller goals throughout the process will make you feel like you are making concrete progress and can give you the desire to keep moving.
Set one goal at a time. It is easier to wholeheartedly focus on one outcome rather than two, three, or even five.
Don’t try to do it all
Pick one thing. Sure, you like a lot of stuff and you want to do so many things in this short life that you are just now beginning to embrace. But, if you add 10 things to your “to-do” list, you are likely going to go back to bed and put your head under the covers – because your list is too overwhelmingly long. After all – where are you going to even start!?
So, choose one thing and start there. Once you get the hang of it, then you can slowly begin adding additional goals to your list – one by one, of course!
Face your fears
Are you wanting a way to really kick-start your motivation? Facing your fears may be just what you need. For instance, think about that last time you completed something rather big that you didn’t think you could. Come to think about this – how about getting sober? That is a huge accomplishment and, when you tackle something that scares you – and you come out on top – don’t you feel good?
Conquering your fears can propel you into a naturally elated state and make you want to keep progressing — just see what you can overcome next.
Don’t give up if you fail
You have tools, you have your goals, you have your roadmap laid out for where you are going. But what happens if something goes wrong and you don’t initially succeed? If you give up, then you are back at square one and will likely be bombarded with negative thoughts and ever-increasing self-doubt. Does that seem like the best route? No!
Failing isn’t failing unless you call it that. When things don’t go as planned, refer to it as obstacles or speed bumps. You don’t have to start over. You just need to get over the hurdle and keep moving.
See the finish line
If you have laid out your plans, then you already see the finish line. But, you need to be able to really see it. Picture yourself with all your accomplished glory. See yourself after your hard work is complete and you are where you want to be.
- How do you feel while standing on the finish line?
- Where are you?
- Who is with you?
- Just how right does it feel?
Take in this whole scenario. Let your body live it as if it were really happening. When you find yourself in a tough moment along your journey, let yourself go back to these feelings.
Do something every day
Some days are going to be more tough than others. For every day that you want to run toward the finish line, you will have eight more days that you don’t want to move an inch. This is a completely normal feeling. However, you need make yourself do something every single day. Even if it is one teeny tiny step toward the right direction, it will get you farther than you were yesterday.
Progress makes us feel good. And it makes us feel accomplished. You don’t have to do everything all at once – that is a surefire way to burn yourself out. As Aesop’s fables have taught us for years – “slow and steady wins the race.” Besides, if you hurry up and finish, then what will you do?
Time to spring forward into action in your new, sober life? You can do it. Ready…set…GO!
Dr. Deena is the Chief Clinical Officer of Westwind Recovery®, an award-winning outpatient treatment center in Los Angeles where she oversees the clinical and administrative program and treatment methods. Dr. Deena is a doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker since 1993. LCSW #20628. Originally from the East Coast, Dr. Deena has worked running treatment centers, worked as a therapist in psychiatric hospitals as well as school settings and currently has a thriving private practice in the LA area. Dr. Deena has appeared regularly on the Dr. Phil Show as an expert since 2003. She has also been featured on many other TV shows, podcasts and has contributed to written publications as well as podcasts.
