So, how does it feel to be living a sober life? Is it scary? Are you nervous? Do you feel like you have a fresh start? For a while, your mind was completely focused on either your addiction or your treatment. Now you are taking the step back into a sober way of life and need to re-learn how to truly live.
Living sober means that you must always be cognizant of your sobriety, but it also means that you need to fill your life with positive things and actions that you may have previously never thought of. You must learn to live sober.
Temptation happens – deal with it
As much as you may try, you cannot live your life in a bubble. If you are going to live, you are going to encounter temptation. However, you must be strong and confident in knowing that you can overcome it. The more you do so, the easier it will become.
It is important to encounter temptation. Believe it or not, it serves a purpose. For one, it reminds you of your weakness. In addition, if we did not have temptation, we wouldn’t know how to overcome it. Think about this — If you lived so carefully that you never encountered temptation, how helpless would you feel in the eventual moment that you first encounter it? You wouldn’t even know you were facing temptation and you surely wouldn’t know how to handle it.
Be prepared.
Take pleasure in the simple things
When you are in the middle of struggling with your addiction, you may see a “normal” person, living a “normal” life and almost feel a bit of envy. It is the simple things that you wish you could do — if only you could conquer your addiction.
Well, guess what? You have! Now you need to learn to take pleasure in the simple things of your own new life. Things such as waking up, packing lunches, going to work, doing laundry, etc. Even paying bills! These may seem boring and easy, but they are things that make up a responsible life. And, oddly, being responsible can make you feel good.
Embrace the simple things.
Get out there – find your adventurous self
Now that you are clean and sober, start your new way of life by discovering new things to do. There are so many adventures and hobbies to choose from. Take the time to try new activities and see what you like. Then, pursue it. Here are a few things you may want to consider:
- You don’t need to make these expensive trips or stay in fancy hotels. Grab a backpack and hit the road. Start by taking short trips near your local city, then branch out to statewide, nationwide, and worldwide. There are so many fascinating things to see in the U.S. and abroad. If you have the ability, do it.
- Learn a new sport. How about taking up golf? Learn how to play basketball, bowling, croquet, horseback riding, scuba diving, etc.
- Take up dancing! There are so many options here – ballroom dancing, Latin dancing, jazz, ballet, tap, hip hop, etc. Try a couple of them!
- Go camping. Learn how to pitch a tent, start a fire, go fishing, cook your food, hike, and explore. Absorb the peace that nature can bring.
There are so many things to do that can take your life from ordinary to extraordinary. And, while you are learning to be thankful for the life you have been given, it is important to learn to live it to the fullest.
A full life is a happy life.
Get healthy and stay healthy
Food and exercise are important for your sober life – not just while getting sober, but for staying sober, as well. We have learned time and time again that leading a healthy life can make us feel good, both inside and out. And, when we finally feel healthy, we are more likely to continue to maintain our health.
What we eat can make a difference in our mood, our health, our alertness, and our immunity. Eating good food – lots of fruits and veggies, lean meats, whole grains – can cleanse our system and leave us feeling like we have superpowers. Idea: Why not start a garden? This will give you something to focus on and to throw yourself into, while also benefiting you with your eating habits.
Exercising is also beneficial. In fact, it should become a life habit. It causes your brain to release chemicals that naturally make you feel good. In addition, exercise gets your blood pumping through your system to keep you healthy. And, it doesn’t have to be tedious – find something physical that you enjoy doing and you will keep doing it. For example:
- Running
- Cycling
- Hiking
- Team sports
- Swimming
- Aerobics, Zumba, Cardio Hip Hop
- Dancing
- Yoga, Pilates
Find balance and find a purpose
Quit focusing solely on your sobriety. Life is more than that. You can go to meetings and you can meet your therapist. In fact, those things are highly encouraged. But, you need to find a purpose for your life – outside of your sobriety. Maybe you want to focus on learning by going back to school. Maybe you want to volunteer and make a difference in your community. Maybe you want to get healthy and help others get healthy. Or maybe you just want to make your family a priority in your life.
It is important to find balance. You have likely dived headfirst into your sobriety. You want to focus on it, yes, but you also need to make sure you balance your life with other gratifying things. Whatever it is that can make you happy and fulfilled, add it to your sober life.
You are sober, but you are so much more than your sobriety! By combining these things – adventures, healthy living, purpose – you can begin to build the life that you have worked so hard to achieve. Live happily. Live fully. Live sober.
Dr. Deena is the Chief Clinical Officer of Westwind Recovery®, an award-winning outpatient treatment center in Los Angeles where she oversees the clinical and administrative program and treatment methods. Dr. Deena is a doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker since 1993. LCSW #20628. Originally from the East Coast, Dr. Deena has worked running treatment centers, worked as a therapist in psychiatric hospitals as well as school settings and currently has a thriving private practice in the LA area. Dr. Deena has appeared regularly on the Dr. Phil Show as an expert since 2003. She has also been featured on many other TV shows, podcasts and has contributed to written publications as well as podcasts.
