Maneuvering through parenting in recovery can be difficult at times, but it can also be fulfilling at others. Balancing family life and sobriety requires planning, dedication, and support. This blog provides some tips and insights for parents who are in recovery and trying to create a stable and healthy family environment.
Understanding the Challenges of Parenting in Recovery
Parenting is naturally demanding, and adding the complicated nature of recovery can magnify those challenges. It’s important to recognize that both roles need substantial energy, time, and emotional expenditure. Acknowledging this can help you set realistic expectations and bolster self-compassion. The key challenges in this balancing act include:
- Time Management: You must become adept at juggling recovery meetings, therapy sessions, and responsibilities to your family.
- Emotional Regulation: Managing stress and triggers while remaining patient and present with your children will require constant vigilance.
- Communication: Honest and open communication with your family members about your recovery and needs will make it easier for them to be open and honest with you.
- Boundaries: Setting healthy boundaries to protect your sobriety will change the family dynamics and require a period of adjustment.
Strategies for Effective Parenting During Recovery
Being able to balance sobriety and family life requires persistent effort and commitment. By practicing these strategies and getting support, parents in recovery can build a loving, healthy, and stable environment for their children and themselves.
Self-care is a priority for maintaining sobriety and being an effective parent. Schedule regular time for activities that promote rejuvenation and relaxation, and allow yourself time for support group meetings and consistent therapy sessions. Make sure you get enough sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition. Becoming more physically healthy will help you be a more active and productive parent.
An established routine can provide predictability and stability for parents and children. Establish a weekly or even daily schedule that provides time for recovery activities, family time, and personal time. Invite the children to be involved in creating the routine. This will foster a sense of responsibility and ownership.
Open and honest communication is necessary for building trust and understanding among family members. Talk openly to the children about recovery using age-appropriate language. Encourage all family members to express their feelings and any worries they may have. You may want to consider family therapy to address any underlying problems and improve communication.
Building a support network is essential for staying on track in parenting and recovery. Try to connect with other parents in recovery and use resources available through treatment centers and support groups. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.
You must be realistic about what you can do daily and avoid putting too much pressure on yourself. Celebrate victories and progress (even the small ones), but be patient and forgiving of yourself and family members. Remember that parenting and recovery are ongoing processes.
When appropriate, involving your children in recovery can help them understand and support your recovery journey. Explain the changes around the home and routines in a way they can understand. Encourage them to express any concerns they may have, and involve them in family activities that promote bonding and connection.
Creating a Stable Family Routine
Creating a stable family routine is vital when parenting while in recovery. A reliable routine provides structure, predictability, and security, which helps in healing and rebuilding relationships. Families can establish a nurturing and supportive environment that encourages healing and growth by working together.
A consistent routine offers many benefits, such as:
- Anxiety reduction: Predictable routines reduce anxiety and stress for everyone.
- Promotes stability: Structure helps build stability, which is especially important during recovery.
- Strengthened relationships: Sharing routines and activities strengthens family relationships.
- Support in recovery: A stable family environment supports you in recovery by reducing triggers, reducing the risk of relapse, and promoting a supportive foundation.
Steps for Building a Routine
If you’re new to setting up a family routine, start from these steps:
- Family Meetings: Establish regular family meetings to discuss and plan the routine together. This will ensure that everyone’s ideas are considered.
- Consistent Times: Set consistent times for meals, wake-up times, activity time, and bedtimes.
- Make a Visual Schedule: Use a whiteboard or calendar (even a virtual calendar) to make the routines visual. This helps everyone stay consistent and in communication.
- Integrate Family Activities Plan family activities such as family meal times, outdoor activities, and game nights.
- Allow Time for Your Needs: Be sure to include time for individual activities and self-care.
- Be Flexible: Routines may need adjustments from time to time. Be open to changes and adjust as needed.
- Be Consistent: Try to stick to the routine as much as possible, even on weekends.
Building a Support System for Parenting in Recovery
Parenting in recovery poses unique challenges and rewards. A strong support system is necessary for navigating complexities and ensuring personal well-being, in addition to the healthy development of children.
The first step is to understand your specific personal needs in several areas. You will need emotional support, which means someone who can hear and understand your struggles and successes. You might also need help with childcare, transportation, or household responsibilities, which can be considered practical support. There’s also recovery support, which means connecting with others in recovery who can relate to your journey. Finally, you may need parenting support (advice and guidance on parenting challenges).
Building connections means reaching out and building relationships. Here are some ways to connect:
- Go to meetings specifically meant for parents in recovery
- Work with a personal therapist who specializes in addiction and family issues
- Look for local groups that offer parenting classes and support
- Join an online group for parents in recovery
Once you’ve initiated your support connections, nurturing and maintaining them is important. Try to stay in touch with your network regularly. Share your struggles and challenges, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. Be available for others in your network when they need support. Know your own limitations and communicate your boundaries clearly.
Resources available to support parents in recovery include:
- Local treatment centers frequently offer aftercare support, such as individual and family therapy, to address addiction and parenting challenges.
- National helplines provide information and can refer you to local resources.
- Parenting websites and books provide guidance and advice on parenting approaches.
- Online forums provide virtual communities for information sharing.
The Importance of Addiction Treatment for Parents
The whole family feels the effects of addiction. Every family and every family member is uniquely affected by the person using substances. These can include:
- Unmet developmental needs
- Emotional turmoil
- Impaired attachment
- Economic difficulty
- Legal problems
- Family violence
- Increased risk of addiction for children
Children of parents with substance use disorder (addiction) frequently report emotional conflict around the parents’ role in the family. Role reversal is a common occurrence, where the child feels responsible for caring for the parent instead of vice versa. This relationship may lead to a lack of boundaries between the two, and the child may feel emotionally responsible for the parent.
Studies also suggest the possible effects on the children of parents with a substance use disorder (SUD) include:
- Having SUD themselves
- Consuming alcohol at an early age
- Taking part in risky behaviors
- Mental health problems
- Less secure attachments
- School performance problems
- Problems with parenting later in life
Children of parents with SUD also have increased chances of:
- Being admitted to an emergency room for accidents
- Experiencing neglect
- Being sexually abused
- Negative encounters with law enforcement
- Suicidal ideations
Studies also revealed higher rates of children being removed from homes with the presence of mothers who abuse alcohol or other substances. Growing up with a parent with SUD may also make them more likely as an adult to have relationships with other people who share a similar experience.
Prioritizing Your Sobriety Through Self-Care Strategies
Self-care is taking care of your mental and physical health daily so you can be at your best. While self-care is important for everyone, it’s particularly crucial for people in recovery from SUDs. Taking care of yourself first can reduce anxiety and stress and reduce your risk of relapse.
Some self-care strategies that people in recovery can practice include:
Mindfulness practices (such as meditation) can help reduce anxiety and stress, improve concentration, promote spiritual wellness, and enhance general well-being. Through these practices, you can learn to deal with negative emotions and identify patterns of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Research shows that regular physical activity can lower anxiety and depression, promote better sleep, and improve health. It helps people in recovery fight boredom and develop a sense of purpose. Some types of exercise, such as yoga, are especially effective in encouraging attention and focus on the body.
Journaling can be a healthy way for people in recovery to process their emotions and thoughts. The act of writing is cathartic and can release stress and tension. Individuals in recovery feel relief when putting their thoughts and feelings into words.
Taking part in creative activities (such as playing an instrument, painting, or writing) is an enjoyable way to express yourself. It also reduces anxiety and stress, which are common triggers for relapse. You should include fun and easy activities, not ones that may be difficult and add stress.
Spending time in nature can be relaxing and relieve stress. It provides space to reflect, meditate, and connect with a higher power or spirituality. People who can see green spaces from their homes tend to have fewer cravings for unhealthy substances.
Addiction can take a toll on your physical health and damages vital organs. Including a healthy diet in your recovery program helps establish routine and structure. Eating well supports the body’s natural healing process.
SUD recovery is challenging and often requires a network of people to offer guidance, accountability, and encouragement. This can include friends, family, peers in recovery, or healthcare professionals. Nurturing positive relationships may include support groups or community service. Fostering healthy relationships can build a strong support system that promotes long-term sobriety.
FAQs About Parenting in Recovery
First, consider the child’s age and maturity. Keep your explanations simple and age-appropriate. Focus on the positive changes and how you’re working to be a better parent. For a younger child, you might explain that you’re feeling better now and working to stay healthy.
This will take time and consistency. Follow through on promises, be dependable, and be present. Apologize for past actions and show that you are committed to changing.
Maintain open communication, establish routines, and create a supportive and safe home environment.
Listen to their questions in a calm and private setting without judging. Be honest and age-appropriate in your answers. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them of your commitment and love.
Westwind Recovery® Understands Addiction
We know how challenging parenting in recovery is, and we can help you balance sobriety and family life. If you’re struggling with addiction, we can help you begin your recovery journey with one of our five addiction treatment programs. We will guide and support you throughout your recovery from our Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) to our standard outpatient program (OP). In addition, we can offer a virtual intensive outpatient program (IOP) where you can receive the same comprehensive treatment as in our treatment facility.
Westwind Recovery® in Los Angeles is dedicated to helping you get back to the family life you once enjoyed. Our therapists are licensed and certified specialists in addiction therapies such as behavioral therapy, trauma therapy, and family therapy.
No matter where you are in your recovery journey, whether you are starting out or just need some extra support, we are here for you and your family. Contact us today with any questions or concerns. Westwind understands, and we’re here to help.
Dr. Deena is the Chief Clinical Officer of Westwind Recovery®, an award-winning outpatient treatment center in Los Angeles where she oversees the clinical and administrative program and treatment methods. Dr. Deena is a doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker since 1993. LCSW #20628. Originally from the East Coast, Dr. Deena has worked running treatment centers, worked as a therapist in psychiatric hospitals as well as school settings and currently has a thriving private practice in the LA area. Dr. Deena has appeared regularly on the Dr. Phil Show as an expert since 2003. She has also been featured on many other TV shows, podcasts and has contributed to written publications as well as podcasts.
