By now you likely understand the importance of sober living. You understand that to be successful in your sobriety, you should take a transitional step into a sober living space before jumping back into the real world.
After all, the real world very different from residential treatment facilities and can knock you down rather quickly. Will you be able to handle it sober? Spending time growing in a sober living facility gives you the opportunity to gain important skills and tools that will strengthen your ability to ward off temptation or handle struggles that you may face.
Sober homes can vary greatly. For example, they can be gender specific, geared toward specific ages or needs, have a specific focus, or just be a general sober living facility. While there are many options, it is important to determine the best fit for your situation. If you are a woman, you should know that there are many benefits to seeking a women’s sober living house.
Men vs. Women in Recovery
There are many ways in which men and women usually differ. For instance:
- Women tend to show emotion much easier than men.
- They like to put out all the cards on the table and talk about what is going on while men are more apt to just walk away.
- Men tend to not like to talk as much as women.
- Women tend to have more friends than men care to have.
So, when it comes to a therapeutic setting, it is no wonder why women would excel more when surrounded by other women, rather than men. However, there is more to the story.
Differences Between Men and Women in Relationships
Woman-woman relationships differ greatly from that of a man-woman relationship. It is no different in a sober living environment. Why? Because women can relate to women. Because each person is unique and comes from a different background and past, women are still initially wired relatively the same.
So, while entering recovery, you need someone who you can relate to; someone who will be handling the recovery process in the same, general manner.
Please note: When we speak of relationships, we are referring to the interpersonal communication that takes place between individuals. We are not referring to that of a sexual nature.
Creating Long-Lasting Friendships
When it comes to the first contact between two people, women usually tend to have an easier time relating to males rather than females. This is primarily because the first interaction is purely physical and based on appearance. However, once communication is opened and a relationship begins to form, this often changes.
In a group setting, women move past the top, thin layer focused on appearances and begin to have their mind penetrated, forming a deeper level of communication, understanding, and openness with the women around them. No longer do they find this woman-woman relationship uncomfortable. Instead, they often form long-lasting friendships.
This is what happens in women’s sober living homes. Not only do the women relate on a generic level because they are facing the same trials, but living closely allows them to come together and grow – as friends and then as a family.
Being able to form a bond – and a lasting friendship – with those who can truly relate to what you are going through is a priceless tool to have.
Building Healthy Support Systems
A healthy support system is crucial to your success in recovery. In fact, you likely learned in rehab how important this part is to overcome your addiction.
A support system is a team of individuals that are by your side – with your best interest in mind at all times. They may fight for you or fight against you – whatever is going to lead to the positive outcome that will benefit you the most. You may not like what your support system has to say or chooses to do, but that is usually because they need to make a statement for your benefit.
Many people choose family members, old friends, or other loved ones to be a part of their support system. Unfortunately, while these people will be there for you, they cannot fully understand what you have been through, what you are going through, and what you may encounter in the future. They also may have difficulty understanding your reactions to any of these things.
But, choosing to form your support team with a few individuals you have met in your sober living home and have managed to grow close with and form a lasting relationship with can be extremely beneficial to you.
Fostering an Empowering Women’s Sober Living Environment
It is no secret that women struggle with things such as self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, and strength. We spend so much of our life tearing each other down that when we actually are down, we need help being built back up – it’s too hard to do this alone. Women in recovery need this.
Now, imagine sitting in a group session with both sexes and attempting to discuss the topic of self-awareness or self-esteem. Often, if a man is feeling weak, he is not likely going to want to talk about it. A woman, on the other hand, will begin to share once she feels comfortable. Then, over time, she will begin to feel powerful as she is backed by a support team of other women.
Empowering each other, growing, and supporting is something that women can band together and do for one another. This is something that you will find happen with time when women come together in groups and living quarters.
When deciding what type of sober living home will work for you, consider the benefits of a home designed specifically for women. Remember to look toward your future – and the benefits you will find there, too.
Recovery is a lifelong process and commitment – wouldn’t it be extremely beneficial to establish strong, meaningful bonds of friendship to last a lifetime? Abso-freaking-lutely!
Dr. Deena is the Chief Clinical Officer of Westwind Recovery®, an award-winning outpatient treatment center in Los Angeles where she oversees the clinical and administrative program and treatment methods. Dr. Deena is a doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker since 1993. LCSW #20628. Originally from the East Coast, Dr. Deena has worked running treatment centers, worked as a therapist in psychiatric hospitals as well as school settings and currently has a thriving private practice in the LA area. Dr. Deena has appeared regularly on the Dr. Phil Show as an expert since 2003. She has also been featured on many other TV shows, podcasts and has contributed to written publications as well as podcasts.
